Let’s Talk about Chinese Gourmet Express

by | Mar 25, 2022

Let’s talk about Chinese food! But first… whether it’s my proclamation that Jack in the Box has the best egg rolls on the planet, or my burger rankings, I catch a lot of shit from some of you SOB’s even though I’m right. So, I suspect this will be no different!

If you’ve been in Tulsa for a while, you probably already know this. If you’re new to Tulsa, you need to know!  Chinese Gourmet Express in the Woodland Hills Mall has the best Chinese food in Tulsa. Is it real Chinese food? No! But do they have the best orange chicken? Yes!

If I hear anyone make a hoity toity comment about how some other restaurant uses real ginger and tangerine in their dish, they are getting kicked in the gooch! Orange chicken has three ingredients, chicken, fried, and the color orange! I mean this is America, real fruit is for the peasants!

In all seriousness… If you like Americanized orange chicken, good luck finding any better! Not only that, but you can get a three-item combo which will feed two for less than 11 bucks! I mean that’s a hell of a date! I don’t know about the rest of you, but if a gal takes me out and buys me orange chicken, I’m definitely putting out! 

So what else is there to say? I mean if you’re going to Panda Express instead of getting mall Chinese food, you’re making a big mistake! The best orange chicken, the best noodles, 11 bucks, and a cheap date! And ladies… If you want Chinese food, have the 11 bucks, but don’t have a date, please refer to paragraph 4!!!

7021 Memorial Dr, Tulsa, OK 74133

Floor 2 Woodland Hills Mall

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